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Showing posts from October, 2014

31 Days of Pink: Going Public

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"For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" Mark 8:36 Halloween 2014, with Boston I never intended to have such a public battle with breast cancer, I still don't at times. It wasn't a choice, is was a calling.Well, let me rephrase that..I met him at the call and did have to make the choice to follow in obedience or go my own way. Anytime I speak,  I  usually open with  "I am the survivor of many things, as have all of you, breast cancer is just one of them. However, it is the "one" that the Lord chose to use more publicly, more transparently and more for HIS GLORY than any other trial or victory thus far :) It was about Him anyway...no other way could I have stayed the course!! Several thoughts on "Going Public" ... It's not for everyone . I get that. And it doesn't mean that every detail was or is disclosed. Nor does it mean that I only share on social media or blogs.  I hav

31 Days of Pink: Rollercoasters

 “I am the “alpha and the omega” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” Revelation 1:8 Caringbridge Journal April 14, 2010 "I am yours, save me; for I have sought your precepts."  Psalm 119:94 Whose are you? Who can save you? How can you find out whose you are, who you are and be saved? The answers are all in this verse. David is so honest in his writing in the Psalms, they are a rollercoaster of up and down circumstances. Writing this blog has at times felt to me like an endless rollercoaster but don't we usually enjoy the adventure of the ride? I guess the only difference would be we stand in line for the rollercoaster, actually choosing to jump in and never beginning without the trusted bar across the lap for safety. We know that even though the hills are steep and the movement is fast, we will get an adrenaline rush like nothing else!!  There's screams, laughter, some crying (which are shown on America

31 Days of Pink: Port Removal and Closure

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"Know ye not that...ye are not your own?"  1 Corinthians 6:19 H Having a medi-port put in (surgically)  for my chemotherapy and Herceptin treatments was a blessing because I have the world's worst veins to access! It was just another part of the process, another scar and yet it too, taught me something about myself along the way! Mainly that I hold onto things or people because of  the fear that I won't be secure without them. God is teaching me to let go of  that fear and replace it with trust and security in Him. Nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). There is such power when there is removal and closure. And way more room for God to work in my life and in the lives of others. Thank you, Lord for your restoration and revelation of truth, order and cooperation. Help me to remember that your ways are Higher than my ways.  Amen. Here is my Caringbridge Journal  on my experience with the port removal...out for good!!!! September

31 Days of Pink: Year Two Cancerversary

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"For the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say." Luke 12:12 Each year with cancer survivorship has a different and significant meaning. Year two for me was one of great, great awareness in the Lord and also the beginning of learning to set some new boundaries and goals for myself and my family. God gave me opportunities to be the speaker at several events and retreats at several churches, sharing my testimony of His faithfulness and hope. And I could hardly believe that I was able to speak without turning the color of my winter red coat in the picture below! Only God can do through us, the seemingly impossible...it is so possible with Him (Matthew 19:26). So, here is my celebration letter of my two year cancerversary on Caringbridge. Thanks, friends, for reading! Jan 26, 2011 7:23pm " Praise the Lord, Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands." Psalm 112:1 PRAISE THE LORD!!! Today marks two y

31 Days of Pink: The Turning Point

" In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:10 It is day 26 of 31, and I    have not mentioned THE most important thing in my healing process and thus, the turning point back to an active daily life after surgeries and treatment.... Physical Therapy! ! If you have had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation this is essential, it made a huge difference in my recovery!  My muscles were mush after months of limited activity. Had I not been working for a physical therapy company (none other than TherapySouth, the best there is), I would not have known I had the option. I tried to walk as much as I could, but that was clearly not enough.  I can remember feeling so better after the first time going. Those first appointments were a little challenging but it was worth it..thank you, Allison!!  I felt I was finally able to do something to start rebuilding my body and that did alot for my attitude as well!  I also remember catching a glimpse of my

31 Days of Pink: It's About the Growth

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"To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:6  Getting Herceptin treatment, 2010 Hey there, I hope you are having a great Sunday! I finally had an activity-free Saturday and am so glad to report that I did not pull my car out of the garage all day!I did some way overdo housework, rested a little and enjoyed not having a schedule!  We all did actually. It was nice to have our little family of four all together, all day, doing our own thing and coming together for dinner (well, kinda we all ate the same thing). Jeff brought back some red fish from a Louisiana fishing trip and it was delicious!  And today, we went to church and did eat lunch together (smile), took a walk and enjoyed another day at home. Sometimes we  just need that! I read back through some more caringbridge journals and decided on this one to share today, mainly because I needed to hear it again! Day 25 of 31 Days of Pink...there's so mu

31 Days of Pink: Ten Simple Lessons

"Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life." Psalm 23:6   Ten Simple Lessons I learned in dealing with Cancer: God always comes first Find a sense of purpose in your pain Make a choice to remain positive Attitude is (almost) everything! Choose to respond rather than react Live in the present moment It's a blessing to receive rather than always give Rest is the key to healing Let go of what you can't control Never, ever give up Blessings, Suzanne "May the LORD bring you into an ever deeper understanding of the love of God and of the patience that comes from Christ." 2 Thessalonians 3:5

31 Days Of Pink: Green Pastures

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"Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always." James 1:4 I have a classic devotion book called "Daily Strength for Daily Needs" by Mary Tileston  that I have enjoyed over the past twelve or so years. In looking back over my handwritten journals, I found this passage and wanted to share it with you!  "The Shepherd knows what pastures are best for this sheep, and they must not question nor doubt, but trustingly follow Him. Perhaps He sees that the best pastures for some of us are to be found in the midst of opposition or of earthly trials. If he leads you there, you may be sure they are green for you, and you will grow and be made strong by feeding there . Perhaps he sees that the best waters for you to walk beside will be raging waves of trouble and sorrow. If this should be the case, he will make them still waters for you, and you must go and lie down beside them, and let them have all their blessed influences upon you." H.W. Smith

31 Days of Pink: Passing it On

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"Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight." Hebrews 4:13 Sharing another one of my favorites from my Caringbridge Journal........ Jul 16, 2009 7:52pm "You know that the Lord is full of mercy and is kind." James 5:11 Yes, Lord, you are FULL of mercy and kindness which, when we are focused on you makes us, his children, FULL. Full of Him and all the fruit that comes from being in his presence. Full of worship for all he has done and is continuing to cover in our lives. Full of celebration for a journey of faith that, when looked back upon will be full of great memories of overcoming and confronting face to face our own mortality. In fullness we receive the grace that makes us free to move forward to a future of mercy and kindess from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Ok, I am full. I am thankful and full of praise-I had my Herceptin treatment this afternoon. I have to admit as I was driving there it felt sureel, going to the cancer

31 Days of Pink: The Medical Team

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"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared." Exodus 23:20 I have spent the last twenty or so days talking about the experience of having cancer but have yet to mention the absolutely,  best medical team that were behind all the surgeries and treatments! And from the very beginning, I had prayed for God's best....He so delivered!!! I could not have picked a better "team" to go to bat for me! As you can imagine, I got very close to these doctors and nurses, seeing them so regularly! Dr Phillip Fischer is  my general surgeon and my first contact, so to speak..he told me the news. One of the things that I treasure about he and his staff is that they called me in the office to tell me. I have heard some really horrible stories about phone calls. He did the bilateral mastectomy and also my port placement for chemo. I was kidding with him that the port outpatient surgery was harder than the

31 Days of Pink: Children and Cancer Part 3 (Chemo)

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"The Lord will guard you as you come and go, both now and forever." Psalm 121:8 There was plenty of light that shined in the darkness throughout the journey of chemotherapy. And just like with the surgeries, Abby and Luke were affected in their own little ways. When I first told Abby my hair would fall out from the strong medicine she said "well, atleast you won't have to brush your hair!" Considering that was her least favorite thing to do, she was looking on the bright side. 4th of July 2009  And here is the last page of her book that I wanted to include with her thoughts.  Also, the teapot card below is from Luke on Mother's Day and in the "spout" it says in pencil "Soon this will happen"..as in "soon you will have hair like the picture". From a five year old, I think that is pretty sweet.  Mother's Day Card 2009 We had a little fun with this wig, it was an extra and really not

31 Days of Pink: Scripture

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"This is the day the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad today! Psalm 118:24 "Let us not grow weary in doing good,  for at the proper time  we will reap a harvest  if we do not give up."  Galatians 6:9 Blessings,  Suzanne

31 Days Of Pink: Battle Fatigue

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"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out and face them tomorrow and the LORD will be with you." 2 Chronicles 20:17 Spring Break 2009 at the Lake After about two months in the battle, we ALL became tired. Cancer is a family disease that disrupts the entire household, making each day a little harder on everyone. I was becoming weaker with each treatment, we all were. We were all fighting, individually and as a family. I thank the Lord that for once, I did not try and fight it for them. For me to get better, I had to let go.  My third treatment was by far the most difficult. The cumulative effect of chemotherapy had taken a toll on my body. And emotionally I was exhausted. Two days after the treatment, while at my parents house, I had a life changing moment. One that I did not tell a soul about until six month

31 Days of Pink: Hats, Scarves and a Wig

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"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your armor and protection." Psalm 91:4 Scarves were my new look of the season  I bought a wig with the intention of wearing every day. I thought that if I had that "covering" on my bald head I could just blend in and no one would know what was really going on. In the outside world atleast. As I was looking for a picture to put in this post, I was unable to find a one with me in my wig! I wore it at first, but it was uncomfortable on my tender head, always feeling a little like it might tilt off at any given moment and H.O.T.! So, I began to open up to the idea of scarves and hats and wore the wig less and less. Now, to say it's easy walking around with this look, would not be truthful. Some days I flat out didn't care because I felt so bad. But others, it felt overwhelming to know that I couldn't just be normal or would be looked at or no

31 Days of Pink: Chemotherapy

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" Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly above all that we think, according to the power that works in us." Ephesians 3:20 2nd Chemo treatment Many people ask God "why" when they find out they have cancer. I never ask Him that question, His word says "I have told you all this so that you will have peace of heart and mind. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows; but cheer up, for  I have overcome the world." John 16:33 (Living Bible)  However, there came a point when I ask Him "How?" That question came on the day I met with my new oncologist and one of the nurses. Being given so much information about different medicines, side effects and a time frame of a year, led me to honestly ask in prayer "How Lord? How will I do this for a year and still be living a somewhat normal life?" I got my answer pretty quickly...".. Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit." Zechariah 4:6 And. It. Was. So. I have