31 Days of Pink: Caringbridge

"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will acknowledge him before my Father in heaven."

                                                                                                                                 Matthew 10:32

 It should be no surprise that I like to tell a good, long, every single, detail, story! Well, pretty quickly after my breast cancer diagnosis, my friend, Lori Burke, set up a Caringbridge site for me. Five years ago, I had no idea what a blog was, let alone the fact that I had one, until someone referred to "my blog" one day. I highly recommend Caringbridge,org because it is a way to keep your friends and family informed of your progress and it cuts down on the calls, texts, emails, etc. I did not return 95% of my phone calls or emails, but some days they were my lifeline to the outside world. A breath of fresh air. Encouragement at just the right time. Caringbridge allowed me to share what Christ was doing in me spiritually, while my body was physically at war, my spirit found healing in writing with the purpose of informing others. I do have the gift of gab (or curse one), I like to talk, most of the time, but I find that I express myself much better in my writing. And doing so freely. I would say that the journal entries captured many moments that I would have forgotten, had I not continued with the process. They are priceless to me now. I remember writing them and then rereading what was written..very evident that the Holy Spirit had helped me tremendously, because it blessed me as if it were written by someone else! I am including a few entries to give you an idea. My site is still up on www.caringbridge.org....you just type in suzannemoore in the visit box. I refer people to it all the time, but always warn those newly diagnosed to read with caution. Sometimes too much information is overwhelming in the beginning and ALL cancer patient experiences, side effects and needs are different!

Caringbridge Journal Entries....... 

My Story Psalm 143:8 says "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go for you, I lift up my soul." For ten years now I have gone to the Lord in the mornings to read his word, little did I know he has been preparing me for this very time to show me HIS unfailing love, peace, comfort, joy, patience and abundant presence, to Him I give the glory,
                
                 for he wrote my story long before now 

and I am his vessel to be used. 

Feb 21, 2009 3:52pm

"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you." James 4:8

Hello! Since my surgery on Thursday I have been waiting for that window of time when I felt like writing. Writing is like breathing to me and without it, I feel out of balance. Here it is, Saturday afternoon at 4:00 pm and I decided to write, not based on how much pain I am in, but on how much our God deserves PRAISE! He always honors obedience, if we live our life based on our feelings (like I did, most of my life, until I worked to surrender those feelings moment by moment) we would lead a very out of balance, inconsistent life. Not for me..I am moving forward in praise and thanksgiving for a season where I can draw near to God like never before, in peace. I praise Him as I push through to the other side of uncertainty- for I am certain He is with me no matter what. I am deliberately resting in Him and trusting Him to relieve the stress that tries to rob me of a consistent, peaceful life, solely dependant upon Him. My body was created by Him for him to bring honor and glory to His name. Thus, He promises to protect this worn out body and restore it unto Him. 

March 11, 2009

I could tell around 5:00 pm yesterday that I was body was back in fight mode, fighting off nausea and fatigue. But I am not alone, I stand on the promise that God is fighting my battles for me and I am to continue to wait and see how He works it all out. That takes full surrender in your heart and your mind. What do you need to fully surrender to Him? He there waiting to take and fight it for you."He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Psalm 40:1-2 Read Psalm 40 today. As for me, my biggest feat is getting a shower and going back to the hospital for my Neulasta Immune Booster shot. For chemo they call the drug Adriamycin, the "red devil", I don't know if they had a nickname for this shot but it should have devil somewhere in it to...i am not looking forward to it. Here again, it has a very good purpose so I must endure the side effects of pain that comeswith protecting my immune system. Please continue to pray for my protection on all my organs, for no infection and for the medicine to do it's job in killing any possible cancer cells, In Jesus Name. Amen.

Apr 22, 2009 5:28pm

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." Isaiah 40:11

Hi, this little lamb has felt great today! Yes, I have been pleasantly surprised at the difference in medications! Praise God that I had no reactions to either the Taxol or Herceptin. It was a long day yesterday, about six hours sitting in my "chair", in and out of sleeping. I didn't feel my best, and the benadryl just about did for me, but after they added the Ativan, it was nighty, nighty until I was almost done. This was NOTHING like the past four treatments...thank God. I feel like I have completed a huge marathon of sorts...so now, I move forward to the next 11 weeks in expectation of finishing the chemo, physical therapy and back into everyday activity! I know what you're thinking...so ease your mind, I won't overdo it. I have learned over the last two and half months, that rest is the best thing I can do for myself, both physical and mental and holy rest. Allowing my Shepherd to lead me and so sweetly holding me close to his heart. I adore Him. I hope this brings hope today, all rough places are made smooth! Hard work is a necessity and the will to live for the present is perhaps the biggest blessing I have received! God continues to be in control. Thank you Jesus that I woke up this morning with NO NAUSEA, and have been able to be out and up all day...7:30 is a good bedtime for me tonight, but I will rest easy knowing that I CAN do this! I will write more tomorrow! Stay up and keep your eyes on the prize! "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field...theh grass withers and flowers fall, but the word of our God STANDS forever." Isaiah 40:6-8 Blessings, Suzanne

Jun 2, 2009 5:05pm

"Who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

Hi, today is four months since my surgery, it's funny how I have really focused on these days as HUGE milestones. I guess any of you that have experienced cancer (and those who haven't) can relate! And as time goes on, this whole process is becoming more and more clear in my mind, my heart and my soul. As I am physically become stronger, I am able to embrace the emotions that come with this "transformation" as well. As I sit here, propped up in bed, I can see my image in the mirror before me. My head is covered with a scarf, and even though my feet are tired from working today (another big accomplishment), I am in a much better place than four months ago! And I am so thankful for all the prayers and support that have enabled me to continue healing. There's been so much more gain than loss with this diagnosis.

So, I want to personally say a big thank you to  Caringbridge and to all of you who faithfully read, signed the guestbook and prayed for me and my family!!!! 

For Day two, I dedicate this post to my Mom, Brenda Gray! Who, today is celebrating 28 years from her surgery date!!What a blessing! I was in eighth grade when she was diagnosed and I thank God for all she has done and still does for me and my family!! I love this picture of her and Abby from last year, by the way, Abby was in eighth grade last year and her birthday is in October and oh and Mom looks beautiful!

Way to go, here's to many more years of good health!!

Abby's Birthday last year (Oct 15, 2013)

Blessings,

Suzanne

"Blessed is she who believed, for there will be fulfillment of those things which were told her form the Lord." Luke 1:45