Standing Stronger Than Before
"If God is all you have, you have all you need." John 14:8
Five years ago, I realized that suddenly my future felt very uncertain, yet I was certain of WHO held my future, right there in His hand.
Thank you, Lord Jesus for your unfailing love, mercy and healing of cancer in my body and setting me free from myself. I said from the start, this is not about me, it's about the cross. For that Lord, for your Glory, I give you the highest praise! I am standing stronger than before because of YOU. "My Father, you are my Lord, My Holy One, my Creator, my King. You are the One who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters." Isaiah 43:15-16 Amen
Having cancer did not define or destroy me, it DROVE me straight to the heart of Jesus. My love for Him grew stronger and stronger with each valley and victory. I am thankful to be cancer free but I more thankful for His love for me. He tells us in Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself." He has not failed me, when everything else felt like it was failing, I stood (and still do) on this truth.
He has shown me a whole new way to live out my days here on earth that I don't know I could have learned any another way. He needed me to be still. I didn't know how to surrender in such a way that required laying down everything I thought that mattered, even the people in my life, and let Him truly be the Lord over my life. By being still, studying His word and the hard part, living it out. He helps me continue to go to the place of surrender. Control being the main issue. He is in control, I am not.
He helped me to navigate through the hard roads instead of choosing to compromise and take a shortcut. He politely reminds me to change "me" and to leave changing others to Him (smile). It occurred to me one day that I am a "hand full" myself, why on earth I am worrying about everybody else's issues too?? Ha ha. He showed me my own light and how to shine it on the darkness. My joy is in knowing that no matter what happens in any given day, He is right there with me. And when I have a moment of memory loss aka "freak out" over something , I am getting better at going straight to Him, first.
To go through a fierce trial and come OUT unchanged or with no growth is more tragic than the trial itself. I welcome change and growth. I am more committed to the work it takes and the action required for change, for better. I know that I am enough in Christ because He is enough. I believed the lies for so long that I wasn't enough, no more. I want to be better for His cause not my own.
And my final thoughts on this five year cancerversary....
I am not stronger because I fought and won the battle (WAR) of cancer, I am stronger because Jesus used a trial in my life to completely remake me.
I am not stronger because I can now do all the normal tasks again, I am stronger because Jesus helped me to realize the importance of keeping my priorities in order.
I am not stronger because my marriage survived, I am stronger because Jesus is working on two imperfect people and transforming our hearts and minds.
I am not stronger because I had the most supportive friends and family ever, I am stronger because Jesus is my best friend.
I am not stronger because of my children, I am stronger because Jesus entrusted these two little souls to me to teach daily and be an example of what it means to be a disciple of Christ.
I am STANDING stronger because of Jesus. Period.
So, today I close with the way I began...I don't know what my future holds but I know who holds it! What a great day, two church services and finally, I am back on the blog. Glory To God.
Blessings,
Suzanne
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, stand." Ephesians 6:13
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