Remove

"Remove Your plague from me;

I am consumed by the blow of your hand."

Psalm 39:10

I really feel led to write on this tonight. On New year's eve, 2012.  This verse is way deep in Psalms and it is a prayer I have said many times in my life, many times this year perhaps. Basically my version consists of "Take this away from me, Lord" whatever the "this" is: the hurt, the disappointment, the daunting task, the health issue, the worry. Though I must preface this is not my prayer tonight, I just wanted to close out the year being real! And iI thank God for the growth this year has blossomed!

 When something hurts us we want it gone, Removed! It is my coping mechanism of choice (fleshly choice), to shut down, deny and begin my wall building. Those walls of denial seemingly kept me safe for years. Or is it that I am throwing off my Pollyanna gig and trying on a new way of living called reality?? I started the year out with a devotional by Beth Moore called "Breaking Free", my all time favorite "Streams in the Desert" by Chas Cowman and then in March added " The Language of Letting Go :Daily Meditations on Codependency" by Melody Beattie. I finished the trio today! Light reading, huh? Haha, growth requires lots of work! And I just decided to set my feet firmly on the Rock and move forward. It felt like a mess. It felt lonely at times because it seemed like the Lord used this year to shine the light bright on some darkness. He did some major removing of my own views, my own thoughts and my own sin. Ain't nothing pretty about that, so although I prefer to be positive and show you all my cute pictures, I also want to share my not so great moments. We learn so much more that way. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world but we have a perfect LORD and Savior who is for us, who can be against us. Sometimes it's us against ourselves. I have fought that one too. Bringing that one on out into the light. What freedom to walk into a new year, knowing that whatever is with me, where I am, what I am doing is right where my Lord has placed me. I stay at the place until he removes what He sees fit. I stay at the place until He says move. I march head on (in these boots) to the battle in front of me and do not look back. I do not act as if there is not a battle I fight it and I move on. If something hurts I ask for healing, I ask God for healing, I need his comfort, his direction, his guidance first, if He says I can get a second opinion (ya know callin' up your bff) then I will, if not, I won't. This is what I have learned this year....instead of my focus being on the circumstance, my focus needs to be on the CROSS. Jesus.

I pray for this year to be one of even more growth in Christ. I pray that for you as well. I praise Him for loving me like He does and for allowing me to be myself. Who he made me to be in Him. I know that He has great plans for us this year, as He does for you.

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. " Jeremiah 29:11

Blessings,

Suzanne

P.S. I have a few more posts coming tonight!